Chlea London

The above quote by Poet/Writer Anais Nin has been  heavy on my mind the past week or so.

It’s how I presume I must feel about myself currently.

A good thing I feel this way because I can take affirmative action to head in the direction I need to go but then it’s kind of a sad thing because of the reality of what the quote actually means. smh.

The fact that I have been stuck in this tight bud.

How pathetic.

It’s interesting to me that I have always felt comfortable being me in the real world but on the internet I shy away. I’m not sure if its the fact that it’s for all the world to see and it just stays there in Internet Land forever, the opinions of others, or maybe the comparing myself to internet strangers, who really don’t matter.

I find this complex problem I”m having pathetic.

I always had a love for the authenticity of people but I have grown to have a love for people who are authentic on the internet. Sharing their true personalities,

hence Cardi B.

Hence the mastermind behind the above quote. I read a little into her biography and I must say it takes a lot of courage to publish sediments or all of a diary for the public to read. She’s had a pretty interesting, lit life, even being married to two lovers at the same time! lol.

These people have a different type of courage that I would love to possess. Matter of fact, I’m working on it. The risk to remain tight in this bud is slowly becoming more painful than it is to risk to blossom.

x,

London